


Remark the cat...

by Linadoon



Category: Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats - T. S. Eliot
Genre: Family Drama, Flashbacks, Gen, I don't know how to tag this, Introspection, Original Character(s), Past Relationship(s), Slow To Update, headcanons, mentioned Demeter/Munkustrap, mentioned Rum Tum Tugger/Mistoffelees, past Old Deuteronomy/Grizabella
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29558811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linadoon/pseuds/Linadoon
Summary: "... Who hesitates towards you..."-The Jellicle Moon is shining bright and the Jellicles cats have met once more to celebrate the Jellicle Ball.Meanwhile, watching from the darkness with saddened eyes, untrimmed claws and a dusty coat, another cat silently remembers memories of a time long gone, when she celebrated with them, wishing so badly to be a part of it once more.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> CATS but by Grizabella's point of view.  
> I've been with this in my head for so long.  
> Note: there are my personal headcanons here, as expected.

The moon was shining bright and the sky was unusually clean, but it was still hard to see the stars, thanks to the shimmering light of the lamp posts. The wind howled, cold, nipping at the old queen’s snout, making her whiskers tremble slightly.

She pulled on her matted fur, limping down streets she was still very familiar with.

It had been so long since she had been around that area. Some things had changed, but in general the place looked pretty much the same.

She stopped near the square and sighed, her warm breath a clear cloud in the cold air. And she couldn’t help but smile as memories flooded her mind. Memories of a nicer time, of happier times, when she was younger and pretty and life was easier.

That was all she had now…

Memories.

She could almost see herself, as a young queen, strolling around the square, be it alone, be it with those she called friends and family. She remembered the places she liked to visit and the people who would give her food if she showed them enough cuteness and friendliness – something that always grasped a human’s attention.

She couldn’t do that anymore, not being all scraggly and dirty. Not even that luxury she had anymore. Now most humans frowned at the sight of her and her dusty coat, shooing her away, sometimes violently.

Another shaky sigh left her as she continued her way, her paws noiselessly limping down the cold and empty sidewalk.

It had been a long time since she had been around, but she still remembered the way, so she followed down an alleyway, towards the large wooden fence that blocked the other end. She jumped carefully up the garbage bins, almost falling and letting out a pained mewl when landing. Her twisted leg hurt and so did her old back. Maybe she should stop for a moment and rest.

She wasn’t even sure for how long she had been walking, too lost in her own thoughts, being guided by the full moon.

The Jellicle Moon.

The old queen looked up to the sky. She shivered, unsure if it was because of the cold or because of the silver light falling over her. She could feel the moon’s energy taking over her from inside out and she felt strong again – even if just a little – to continue moving. She couldn’t stop, not now; she felt that, if she didn’t press forward, she would never be able to do so again.

She climbed on the fence and let out a sigh that sounded more like a whimper.

The junkyard was still filled with junk and broken items that humans had no interest in fixing anymore, all being bathed in the moon’s light. She wasn’t expecting to see much change really, but her heart fluttered at the view of familiar places, familiar mountains of tires and rusty buckets and familiar drawers and boxes that once hid away cozy dens. She wondered if the same cats she knew still lived there, in their respective little dens.

It looked the same as it had always looked, since the time she had been there, then not being known as “The Glamour Cat” – or at least, not in an ironic or derogatory tone.

But really just…

Grizabella.

And she took a moment to take it all in.

She was home.


	2. Jellicle cats, come one, come all

The junkyard was noisy and busy as it was expected from a night such as that. Grizabella tried not making herself know, walking over the fence to reach the origin of all the hustle and bustle.

The Jellicle Ball.

Oh, it brought back so many good memories.

Grizabella remembered her first ball as clear as the moonlight. She was still a young kitten, and while meant to just sit and watch the other cats dancing and singing, she put herself on the spotlight – this time an actual spotlight – much to her mother’s exasperation.

The first time she had danced on the Jellicle Ball with all the other cats was such a marvelous moment; she could feel the moonlight falling over her, energy flowing through her veins like lightning bolts, making her want to move, to express herself, to enjoy herself.

She giggled silently at the memories.

The way she had danced with her sisters in later balls always brought a smile to her face. They were the junkyard’s famous little trio after all. And, even if Grizabella was the most “famous” of the group, Jennyanydots and Jellylorum were very dearly beloved by all other cats.

Looking down at the stage by the rusty old car, Grizabella was almost certain that Jenny and Jelly were the ones that took care of covering the junkyard with the colorful lights and ornaments, it was the type of thing the two would love working on.

Her dear sisters…

It has been so long. She wondered how they were, if they were fine, happy, healthy…? Had they had more kittens or taken more mates? She wondered if Jelly and Asparagus still argued all night to then cuddle all day, or if Jennyanydots still prepared Skimbleshanks a little “lunch” for him to take to the train station…

Grizabella sighed, hugging herself as the cold wind surrounded her.

And she thought of the last time she had tried returning to the tribe. The glares and hisses she received from those that once smiled and laughed with her. The rejection hurt every time, it wasn’t something anyone could get used to.

The pain, anger and sadness on Jenny and Jelly’s usually calm and loving eyes.

Grizabella didn’t want to think about that, she didn’t want to remember those sad things, not now; but she knew the memories would come back to her. She wasn’t there to reminisce; she was there to try again.

Some would call her foolish… How many times had she already tried returning? How many times had she been shunned away by the tribe?

But she still returned.

Grizabella had always been called a dreamer.

“You spend too much time in your fantasy world, while you should keep your paws more grounded!” Jelly would tell her with a huff and a flick of her tail.

Well, if Grizabella has always been a dreamer, she wasn’t going to stop now.

The lights dimmed in the stage and silence reigned for a moment. Grizabella repositioned herself on the fence, paying attention and pushing her noisy thoughts aside.

Music swelled in the air as a white cat graciously stood alone in the middle of the stage.

A white cat. Grizabella remembered someone like that. She was part of the Jellicle Tribe but rarely joined them, much like her brother, Bustopher Jones. Oh, Grizabella could barely remember her name…

But it couldn’t be her, could it? This one was so small and thin and looked so young…

Grizabella’s eyes focused on the white cat’s slow and deliberate movements, her dance was so sweet, so pure, gracious…

It reminded her once more of her young years, when she used to dance in a similar fashion. But that was too long ago. Just thinking of doing what the young queen did was enough to make Grizabella’s back ache.

She pushed the thoughts aside, watching as the white cat finished her dance and another cat rushed into the stage.

This one was black and white, a little tux. He almost looked like a small Bustopher Jones – much, much smaller.

“ _Jellicle cats come out tonight! Jellicle cats, come one, come all!_ ” The tux sang, his voice sweet as the stage was lighted up and the other cats joined the duo.

Grizabella recognized many of them, though she did see many new faces – mostly kittens. Guess Jenny and Jelly must have been at work these past years indeed.

And her heart fluttered inside her chest when she saw a rather tall gray tabby, standing over the large truck tire that has probably been there for years.

“Munkustrap…” She said in nothing more than a whisper.

Her sweet son, Munkustrap. He was so big now, an adult tom. He looked so much like his father now - which now made her think of his father...

“Jellicle cats meet once a year at the Jellicle Ball where we all rejoice!” Munksutrap announced and his voice was so similar but so different from the voice Grizabella remembered her little tom having.

It had been quite a while since her last time reaching for the tribe… A year? Two? Three? It felt like each rejection forced her to stay away for longer, but she always returned.

Grizabella held back a sigh, feeling a soft stinging in her eyes.

It hurt to think she had missed so much of his life. She wondered what he had done these last years, if he had taken a mate or two, if he had kittens – she was pretty sure one or two of those kittens had to be his. Her son, a father. It was hard to wrap her head around it.

Oh, and what about her dear, Rum Tum Tugger?

Grizabella looked around, trying to find him in the crowd, but to no avail. She remembered how he looked different from most other cats of the tribe and she knew she would recognize her son anywhere, probably much easier than Munkustrap.

Tugger’s mane was still growing back them, it was probably so large by now…

“When Old Deuteronomy, just before dawn, through a silence you feel you could cut with a knife!” Munkustrap continued announcing, his voice strong, serious but joyful. The type of voice one would expect from a leader like him.

Grizabella sighed, watching as the Jellicle’s celebrated the start of a new Jellicle Ball, hugging and nuzzling each other.

She felt drawn by the smiles and happy looks and finally found strength and will to move from the fence, feeling her bones aching with the cold of the night.

Grizabella carefully jumped down to a pile of old cans, ignoring the pain as she wandered closer to the stage.

It was no use for her to stay on the fence. She didn’t come just to watch, she had come to join.

Or at least try to…

Once again.


End file.
